In the Margins (and 25 Ways to Encourage Young Homeschooling Moms)

It takes place in the margins: car rides, mornings snuggled in my bed, bedtime, talks on the couch with my eldest. This is the overarching beauty of homeschool, undone from the confines of the 8-3 time frame, we learn together organically with the rhythm of our days. Katy reads her history book voraciously, and we talk about how much courage it took for Christopher Columbus to ask a third king and queen for funding after he'd been turned down by two European governments already. Rosy and I play a word game of antonyms and synonyms on car rides, a constant verbal back and forth that both builds vocabulary and grammar skills. Amy learns her letters and phonics on the iPhone, curled up next to me, describing the letters in her unique right-brained way ("B" is a snowman on a stick, "G" a kitten curled up, "A" an Indian teepee). Caleb astounds us all by rocketing through the alphabet to early reading skills at 3 1/2, and doing Rosy's addition exercises. He tells me all about trapezoids, in between little boy antics painting his skin brown with cocoa and pestering his sisters at naptime. And here is the grittiness of homeschooling - the places I still have to plane away with sand paper, the son I need to instruct in more than the alphabet - lessons to learn about respect, stewardship, living like Jesus did, loving like He did.

Pantry fall-out from Caleb's exploits in cocoa powder yesterday

How do your homeschool days look? I have a 3rd grader, a 1st grader, and two in preschool. We spend only about an hour of structured school time each day, and the rest falls into place around that. Most of our official school hours are spent on math and science. The rest, so far, is done via computer or verbal exchange. I expect this to change as our homeschool matures, but for now, it is what works in the busyness of family life.

Linked up to Lisa-Jo's 5 Minute Friday writing exercise

25 Ways to Encourage Young Homeschooling Moms:
1. Ask her what her children are learning...and listen to her answers
2. What are her fears about homeschooling her children?
3. Share an experience you've recently had with a homeschooled child
4. Get her talking about her curriculum choices!
5. Ask her what her biggest dream for homeschooling is.
6. Offer to watch her little ones for an hour so she can dig in with the older kids.
7. Fold her laundry...especially all the socks!
8. Notice one thing each of her children is especially good at, and write her a note telling her their strengths.
9. If you see something homegrown & educational on Pinterest or elsewhere on the web, share the idea with her.
10. Draw her children out socially, and compliment them when they interact well.
11. Support community programs for homeschoolers in your area, and tell her you did so.
12. Share a favorite verse, blog post, or devotional on perseverance. Print it out and mail it to her.
13. Offer your services in something you're very good at...pottery, art, music, science? Help share her burden!
14. Drive her kids to an event once a month to give her a morning to herself.
15. Offer to go with her to the library...and pay her fines for her!
16. Ask her if she's saving any household items for homeschool projects (toilet paper rolls? Kleenex boxes?) and give her your extras.
17. Give the children a gift subscription to National Geographic Kids, God's World News, Ranger Rick, or Highlights.
18. Offer childcare so she and her husband can have a date night.
19. Accompany the family to a homeschool fair, book sale, or conference and watch the children during workshops or shopping times so she can focus.
20. Pay the entrance fee for the children to take a gym class or participate in a sport.
21. Listen to her concerns about time management and homeschooling.
22. Give the family an unused bookshelf or organizational system you have around the house.
23. Surprise her with a visit and make coffee for her...then sit down and chat!
24. Give her a gift card to a local salon or spa for a manicure or facial.
25. Do the dishes and mop the kitchen floor!

Under the saddle

I came alive because of cancer. I remember the year before I was diagnosed, when my third daughter was just starting to toddle. I was completely, unabashedly overwhelmed as a mother of three girls three and under. I was pregnant already and I felt like someone hooked up an IV to my arm during the night and drained every last bit of energy right out of me. I told my husband I wanted to go back to work. This was too hard, cuddling children all day, trying to keep up my housework, the clinging, and the crying, and the poopy pants. It was just too much. I was stuck in a job I hated.

And when did mothering become work? Sometime after the second was born, and I could no longer give undivided attention to anyone. Worse than the actual hatred of my job as a stay at home mom was my guilt over my hatred for my job. What mom doesn't love working with her children? I felt like a complete failure, and I simply wanted out.

Then something miraculous happened. A blessing in disguise. The winter of my soul, the cancer that robbed me of my normal, dreary life, ended the season of my discontent. Years spent fighting the bit of motherhood were swept away in a torrent of lonely reflection when I left my family behind for three long weeks for radiation seeding treatment in 2008. The saddle suddenly removed, I saw the scars left by my twisting and turning, resenting the crown of motherhood as though it were a tight bridle instead.

The dippers cup stars in summer and spill them across the black in the winter. Close to the horizons, the sky is void of those specks of silver. I am a woman stretched across the heavens, arms reaching toward the trees, feet toward the moon rise. In this middle, high above the earth's orb, is perspective and peace. As a young mother, I was blinded by the lack of choice. When I am old, I will look back and long for these days. Though I am in life's winter, this season of suffering growing heavier each passing year, I can dance here, in the space of the middle, because I've known the much harder struggle of bucking motherhood.

I used to cup stars like the summer's dippers, holding my time close like a treasure to my chest. Now I am the dipper in winter, spilling stars, spilling laughter and giving time and worrying less and loving more. I revel in the giggles with my oldest daughter, sit in my messy front room cuddling my second, almost 7 and grown long and lean, just because it is her birthday party day and she wants me to. I wake up in the morning and lay still for an hour, my son digging in my armpits (don't ask! It's his comfort thing, ever since he was a baby) and my youngest daughter in that sleep stupor still, staring at the ceiling and holding my hand, a statue carved in the marble of morning. We spin together, through trials, tribulations, triumphs.

I will never fight motherhood again like I once did. And for that, I am thankful for cancer. This year of remission, I set a goal to learn to rest like Jesus did and to learn how to enter into the joy of childhood with my children. For isn't this one of the characteristics that draws us to His character? The ability to rest even when more work was left to be done, the foresight to care for His own physical and emotional needs even when the needs of others (such as those waiting for physical healing) hung in the sands of time? I don't want these years to slip by without notice. I want to burn them into my memory, fill them up with the quiet, simple moments that really matter.

In the Margins

It takes place in the margins: car rides, mornings snuggled in my bed, bedtime, talks on the couch with my eldest. This is the overarching beauty of homeschool, undone from the confines of the 8-3 time frame, we learn together organically with the rhythm of our days. Katy reads her history book voraciously, and we talk about how much courage it took for Christopher Columbus to ask a third king and queen for funding after he'd been turned down by two European governments already. Rosy and I play a word game of antonyms and synonyms on car rides, a constant verbal back and forth that both builds vocabulary and grammar skills. Amy learns her letters and phonics on the iPhone, curled up next to me, describing the letters in her unique right-brained way ("B" is a snowman on a stick, "G" a kitten curled up, "A" an Indian teepee). Caleb astounds us all by rocketing through the alphabet to early reading skills at 3 1/2, and doing Rosy's addition exercises. He tells me all about trapezoids, in between little boy antics painting his skin brown with cocoa and pestering his sisters at naptime.

Pantry fall-out from Caleb's exploits in cocoa powder yesterday

How do your homeschool days look? I have a 3rd grader, a 1st grader, and two in preschool. We spend only about an hour of structured school time each day, and the rest falls into place around that. Most of our official school hours are spent on math and science. The rest, so far, is done via computer or verbal exchange. I expect this to change as our homeschool matures, but for now, it is what works in the busyness of family life.

Linked up to Lisa-Jo's 5 Minute Friday writing exercise

And, for fun, 25 Ways to Encourage Young Homeschooling Moms:
1. Ask her what her children are learning...and listen to her answers
2. What are her fears about homeschooling her children?
3. Share an experience you've recently had with a homeschooled child
4. Get her talking about her curriculum choices!
5. Ask her what her biggest dream for homeschooling is.
6. Offer to watch her little ones for an hour so she can dig in with the older kids.
7. Fold her laundry...especially all the socks!
8. Notice one thing each of her children is especially good at, and write her a note telling her their strengths.
9. If you see something homegrown & educational on Pinterest or elsewhere on the web, share the idea with her.
10. Draw her children out socially, and compliment them when they interact well.
11. Support community programs for homeschoolers in your area, and tell her you did so.
12. Share a favorite verse, blog post, or devotional on perseverance. Print it out and mail it to her.
13. Offer your services in something you're very good at...pottery, art, music, science? Help share her burden!
14. Drive her kids to an event once a month to give her a morning to herself.
15. Offer to go with her to the library...and pay her fines for her!
16. Ask her if she's saving any household items for homeschool projects (toilet paper rolls? Kleenex boxes?) and give her your extras.
17. Give the children a gift subscription to National Geographic Kids, God's World News, Ranger Rick, or Highlights.
18. Offer childcare so she and her husband can have a date night.
19. Accompany the family to a homeschool fair, book sale, or conference and watch the children during workshops or shopping times so she can focus.
20. Pay the entrance fee for the children to take a gym class or participate in a sport.
21. Listen to her concerns about time management and homeschooling.
22. Give the family an unused bookshelf or organizational system you have around the house.
23. Surprise her with a visit and make coffee for her...then sit down and chat!
24. Give her a gift card to a local salon or spa for a manicure or facial.
25. Do the dishes and mop the kitchen floor!